Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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