We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Bring me that man meat
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
