Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
