ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
