I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
