I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
