She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
