Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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