just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
