i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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