Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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