last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
