I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
