I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
