You're so nebulous sometimes
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
