i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's rum buckets o'clock
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize