he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
