I hate your face
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
