i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
In the future we'll all be gay
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
