it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
