I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize