worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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