I am puke
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
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i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
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He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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