i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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