My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
