Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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