Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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