Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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