just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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