i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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