If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i out mim tonsoeep
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