was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
