just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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