I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
