i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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