Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
