you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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