My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize