apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
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been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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