Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
