i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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