Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
