I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
