WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
