in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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