This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just blew my weed a kiss
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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