Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
