you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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