I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
