it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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