Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
