But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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