I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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