LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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