alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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