You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
