i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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