I heard we made out
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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