I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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