I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
