So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
