I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize