Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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