Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
