Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
