State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
