i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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