ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
