I'm eating all of the evidence.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
