She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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