We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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