so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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