Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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