I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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